Confessions of an Eavesdropper
By Aimee Windmiller-Wood
Oh fine. I’ll admit it. I like eavesdropping on stranger’s conversations. I’ve even gone so far as to shush my kids at a restaurant so I could hear the end of someone’s conversation at the table next to ours. And I know I’m not the only one. Come on really. Why do we have so many reality shows on TV? Not all of them are about eating bugs. We love looking in on other people’s lives, seeing how they operate - maybe even learning from their mistakes.
I’ve learned a lot by listening in and confirmed what most of us already know:
- Many people hate having real conversations with the people that are driving them crazy in their lives.
- Loads of people make up a whole bunch of stuff about others without ever checking to see if they are right.
- There are people who make lots of money because of the first two points: therapists, lawyers, news media, talk shows and yes even training companies – just to name a few.
I’ve learned a lot more than that of course. I’ve learned that people can love deeply and love long. I’ve learned that the human heart has an amazing capacity to heal, even when it has been profoundly broken. I have learned that the slightest comment can cut like a knife. And that the people whom we supposedly love the deepest, are often the ones we speak to with the most disrespect. I have learned that the human spirit is amazingly resilient.
What have you learned from listening in? What would it take for you to have the real conversations, the Fierce Conversations, with those people who drive you crazy? Have you ever made stuff up about someone, only to find out you were totally wrong?
by Tags: eavesdropping, Fierce Conversations, listening, real conversations
July 6th, 2010 at 6:08 am
I listen in a ton. I love it cuz’ I learn so much this way. It’s a social norm that we aren’t supposed to do it; but who really knows that we are doing it, right? That is: until we speak up and then people generally smile and invite us into the conversation. Or then, there is the rare man/woman who gives you a dirty look. Or so this is my experience. Is my experience unique? I’m not sure. I’m from the Midwest. Do we have a certain “familiar” about us that other parts of the country do not? My friend from the East says we Midwesterners are different.
On another note: I’m almost done reading Fierce Conversations. I like the way Susan says it. She says it slightly different than the last psychologist, organizational communication, org. behavior guru, but what is being said is universally known and has been said before. That’s my thought. But the thoughts are good ones and will live on and people will buy these ideas cuz’ they are true and if lived out: they help us live and work better. That’s what I think!