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Fierce Tip of the Week: Be Right Gracefully

I had a problem with wanting to flaunt being right in situations. I learned the lesson the hard way: This inclination was not serving me.

Learning to not do the "nanner-nanner told you so" dance every time I accurately predicted something was not easy. However, once I stopped, it allowed me to strengthen all relationships in my life.

It strengthened those relationships because nobody likes a know-it-all. Most importantly, though, I started paying more attention to my response, and it forced me to be a better listener.

Instead of taking the time to pat myself on the back for being right, I take the time to ask questions and learn from others why they feel differently. I really try to listen to their point of view and look at it as a learning opportunity for both of us.

This week I encourage you to join me in my practice to be right gracefully. Should you find yourself in the good fortune of making a right call this week, take the opportunity to not gloat and instead learn more about others' perspectives.

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the Conversation

5 responses to “Fierce Tip of the Week: Be Right Gracefully”

  1. Hi, Jamie —

    Who was it who was telling you you had a problem with “flaunting” being right? Too many times, a woman is told she’s flaunting, or behaving inappropriately, for something that would be seen as acceptable or even expected in a man.

    Look for a moment at the photo above your post: a woman looking sideways, a little abashed smile, covering her mouth. Can you see that being a photo of a man, doing the same thing, being an illustration for the “problem” of being right? I’ll bet not.

    Maybe you weren’t flaunting, or being a know-it-all. The real problem might be with the other people.

    Maybe you were right, and you should own it.

    — Louise

  2. Aimee says:

    I think Louise just called it. Might be the image. I hear what you are saying about not wanting to flaunt it and I also know that many women sell themselves short because they don’t want to flaunt it.

    I do think there is a difference in being confident and making a statement you stand by and “doing the happy dance” when it doesn’t work out.

  3. Lisa Haak says:

    I believe that this underlying message is very good. It reminds us to be mindful of our thinking and the interpretation of our actions or even expressions that might give that impression. Although, I also do agree with the other comments that sometimes women can be susceptible to harshly judging ourselves whether we let it come from within or from outside influences. It is also good to be reminded that it is okay to confidently communicate our thoughts and beliefs especially if they are well grounded from experience or thorough research that we have done.

  4. Lisa Haak says:

    Following our own statements with questions in a conversation is always a good way to reciprocate, learn and encourages us to take the time to listen. It is a positive way to interchange.

  5. Jaime says:

    Thank you all so much for your insights, I love this dialogue. I do agree Louise that as women we are constantly sent the message that if we are bold or proud with our ideas than we are somehow bad. I think it’s a great reminder to own what I know is true, and not “play nice” just to please others.

    However, I also think that even as a women we must be aware of our emotional wake. I work in an incredibly supportive environment, of mostly women, and there have been times when I was right about something and the way I showed up only made others who did not agree with me, both men and women, feel less than, which did not move our relationship forward in a positive way.

    Thank you again for taking the time to have this conversation with me, I love it!