I like to think of myself as someone who embraces curiosity rather than pushing my advice or taking things at face-value. When I entered into the challenge this week, I thought this would be a very natural place for me to be.

What I didn’t foresee was a week where I was in heavy production mode, faced with a looming deadline on a big project.

As I reflect on this week, I realize I misplaced my curious explorer hat and instead focused on checking off a box on a list in order to move this project into completion. Sure, I asked questions of the team as it related to the final details of the project and gained clarity on why certain items were such.

However, the level of curiosity related to the challenge this week – truly seeking to understand – is different.

So this begs the question: how can I maintain being curious even when I am carrying a heavy load?

For example, in a recent meeting with a business partner related to this project, the team was having a hard time understanding where the breakdown in the delivery timeline was happening.

We immediately went to solution mode and started suggesting alternative options to ensure the task got completed. Had we gotten curious and asked more questions to gain clarity about the situation, we could have avoided the rabbit trail we went down.

In the end, it was miscommunication, and he had the solution the whole time.

For me, the challenge really is about self-discovery and being fully present. When someone is asking my opinion or strongly expressing theirs, I want to be in a place where I genuinely can pause, give my full attention, and ask, ask, ask. The goal is to have both of us gain insight and learn from one another – even if it’s a brief exchange.

So this week, when I take the poll to report in on how I did, I will select the “meh” box. And fortunately, this is a continuous learning journey I am on. I have plenty of opportunities to don my curious explorer hat and seek to understand.

When you reflect back on this week, how well did you do?

For more information about leadership development and training, visit our site (www.fierceinc.com).

To help ensure that everyone’s putting their best foot forward, organizations create practices, both written and unspoken, that employees are expected to follow. The hope is to support their employees and establish success.

Question is: are these practices working?

We want to know!

Join Fierce and take our survey.

Are they supporting you in accomplishing your work or hindering your success? Is your company willing to change practices based on employee input and feedback?

Follow this link and let us know your thoughts!

For more information about leadership development and training, visit our site (www.fierceinc.com).

We are all entitled.

We have certain laws in place to make sure we all have a safe work environment, fair wages, and to not be discriminated against due to the color of our skin, our gender, or our sexual orientation.

These are our rights in many places in the world, and should be everywhere.

We should also have work cultures that have open and honest communication. To spend each day engaged on a visceral level, being part of a place that dignifies hard work, day in and day out, whether your job is a lineman, teacher, or CEO.

Creating a workplace that embraces this type of communication, happens through the participation of each employee. People make a culture. People drive whether an organization will be productive, innovative, and committed.

So why are there organizations that employ amazing people and don’t have amazing cultures?

It all relies on the conversations that take place.

At Fierce, our mission is to change the world one conversation at a time. What if every individual started honestly and respectfully communicating? Think how your organization could change.

It’s important for communication to not be dictated by one person – this only supports a culture of group think. There should be many voices and they should reflect the people who are speaking- varied, unique, and not always in agreement. It can be difficult, and that’s how you know it’s worth it.

This collective voice is called participation.

Hold yourself and those you work with able to handle what each individual has to say. This is important for both leaders and individual contributors.

Take control of what you can do to make this happen. Think of the possibilities!

The challenge seemed easy this week, until yesterday! Lack of sleep, exercise, being snowed in at home with a long to-do list and toddler meltdowns was enough to make me almost lose it. Plus, I woke up in a less than bright mood. The words, “be intentional”, scrolled through my mind.

When my 3-year old, Niko, is in a bad mood and wants to stay there, I tell him “it’s okay to feel you’re in a bad mood, and it’s your choice to stay there. It’s okay to feel crummy – and it’s not okay to take it out on others.”

The impact of our words and their delivery – our body language, tone – can be stunning. Yesterday, I was reminded that there is no excuse to talk with someone in a way that causes harm.

Regardless of how I feel about something, I can share my perspective – even frustration – in a way that doesn’t damage the relationship. Otherwise, I’ll find myself more frustrated by the clean-up work I have to do in the aftermath.

The bottom line for me is – in case I ever want to make excuses for bad behavior – I know if I don’t practice delivering a message without a load attached, I won’t grow the kinds of relationships I want in my life. I won’t be the kind of person to whom people will commit at the deepest level. And lastly, my message won’t get heard.

When I’m flooded by emotions, before speaking, I try to ask myself some key questions:

1.    What is my intent? What is my intention in this conversation and my desired outcome? Connecting with it helps me be mindful about what I’m going to say before the words come out.

2.    What is my outlook? I try to do what I call a quick “context check” at the start of the day. Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed? What is my outlook today – positive or negative? My outlook drives my behavior and results. If it’s negative, how can I make another choice and better navigate conversations?

3.    Am I getting triggered? It’s easy to get triggered in a conversation. I need to recognize it when I do, and for goodness sake, stop speaking and take a breath. Then ask questions to let my curiosity replace judgment.

4.   What if I make a mistake? I know that if I get sloppy with my emotional wake, I owe the other person an immediate apology – whether a co-worker, a spouse or my child. No excuses. I don’t gain respect without giving it

Fierce Conversations are not about being ferocious in our conversations, they are about saying what we need to say in a way that moves the relationship forward – with skill, clarity, conviction and compassion.

I expect to hold my feet to the fire and have high expectations of my behavior, and I hold others able to do the same. It’s a matter of personal responsibility and it’s necessary – to move our work, our families and our communities forward.

Maya Angelou said, “People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.”

That’s enough to motivate me.

We’d love to know: how did you do this week?

For more information about leadership development and training, visit our site (www.fierceinc.com).

A challenging conversation becomes increasingly more challenging the longer you avoid it. What was once a simple and straightforward issue only becomes more complex. Time compounds the situation.

Very few people think they will thrive in situations when they have to confront someone. It can be awkward, unpleasant, and most of all, scary. The range of uncertainty only escalates the “what if” factor. It is easy to focus on the negative.

Yet your success is dependent upon addressing issues as they arise.

To be successful, one must be able to have confrontational conversations in your workplace. When things are not going the way one individual thinks they should, that person has to have the skill-set and support to have that conversation.

I recently read a blog posted on onlinecollege.org titled, 15 Characteristics Correlated with Success. All these characteristics for success supported skillfully having difficult conversations rather than avoiding them.

The first three characteristics listed are personal accountability, resilience, and to be a lifelong learner. These characteristics relate to self-awareness and taking ownership, which are extremely important in all aspects of communication.

When approaching challenging conversations, you must know that you will not have all the answers, and it is vital to be open to learning more about the other’s perspective.

What happens to your organization if the people within it aren’t living up to their full potential? What if they can’t have the conversations essential for their success?

You slowly build a culture of avoidance, one that breeds mediocrity, and creates distance between its people.

Confrontation is a relationship builder.

It is a chance to expand one’s point of view and challenge an idea. It creates space where growth can happen on both the individual and organization level. Success is, by definition, an outcome. Possessing both a strong skill-set and character traits to embrace confrontational conversations is how you get there.

If your culture does not support having these challenging conversations, stop right now and think immediately about how you can begin to change that.

For more information about leadership development and training, visit our site (www.fierceinc.com).